bismillah....
its 19th october 2011
its raining outside..quite heavy...i am listening to richard stoltzman,maid with flaxen hair..its like been in the 70's,you are walking at the side of the roads in the morning in the middle of spring and watching people doing their routines, seing blooming flowers everywhere,the birds chirping happily..thats how i feel when i listen to dis song..im tryin my best to write in fully english dis time..juz wana try to improve and at the same time being romantic..romance probably means a feeling between a man and a woman..well generally people might describe it as that but to me,it doesnt have to be between a guy and a gal..its just a feeling between two hearts or two souls..right now,its just me and the rain..i believe the rain had a soul..and each drop of it is "tasbih"ing to Allah..as i am right now..
nothing reminds me of Allah better than the rain does..its like two different creatures are sharing the same feeling at a moment..i love the rain but i am terrified watching the heavy clouds before she came..sometimes,i just sit outside the balcony and let her brush my face..i let the wind bring her close to me..i took my hands and let her drops on my palm...i love the sound of her tapping on my roof..then when she stopped,i love the smell of the wet earth..the 1st time Allah touched my heart is through the drops of the rain..
i was sitting at a hut in front of my block when i was 17..it was in malacca..i was in college at that time..i was waiting for someone..i thought that the person would not come as it was raining..but i was wrong..she was my senior..she had a wonderful smile..a lovely pair of eyes..she will be leaving malacca to continue her study in medics at that time..so that is our 1st and last meeting..when i told her that i thought she would not showed up because of the rain,she said to me that why would she gave up the beautiful moment to say hi and goodbye to me..the rain is one of the precious moment for an abdi to pray..all prayers insyaAllah will be granted..the angels are coming down with the drops of the rain to collect doas and prayers on the earth and present them directly to Allah..my heart was moved at that time..then she took her hands and ask me to join her..and we recyte a doa together for this ukhwah,for blessing,for this love and for our future in front of Him..starting from that moment,i knew i have things to do..i knew He is watching at me all the time,and that is the 1st moment i could feel that He is smiling at me..open His arms for me..waiting for me to come home..and i am home..where i belong..where i suppose to be..so dis rain is the witness of a beautiful hidayah..my soul finally found the place where its been longing for such a long time..
now,everytime i am down,tired dealing with this life,i realised that He will send me the rain to remind me of our 1st met..to freshen up my memories and my feelings of that beautiful hidayah..the point that turns me back to where i suppose to be..so that is my love story...we are telling stories to each other,in a way that only we knew..our souls are communicating,using a language that only we could understand...yes my friend,i remember you..i remember us...and yes,i have to stay strong..and no,i am not giving up...thank you for being such a faithfull friend...as i am smiling and took my palm to feel the drops of her...lots of love.....
